Yoga reveals our weaknesses, our fears and subsequently enables us to acknowledge and face them.
This morning, during my Mysore practise, I realized that my mind wanted to prevent me from doing an asana out of fear!
After practising backbends I usually do dropbacks. But today, I didn’t want to do it. I was looking for excuses not to do it: “My back feels weak today. My harmstrings are a little bit tense. Bla bla bla!!”
I didn’t know why. Then I just paused. I said.. wait.. what’s happening now?
I remembered that some days ago I almost fainted after practising my dropbacks routine (because I didn’t have enough sleep the night before. Nothing too serious). I’m used to it normally. I’ve never been afraid of practising dropbacks.
How come then that I’ve been trying to avoid this practise for the last 2 days?
I realised that I was afraid of getting hurt, of fainting or falling. I almost got hit last time so now my brain is in protection mode. It doesn’t want me to fall or to have an accident.
But the thing is.. I fainted for another reason (the lack of sleep), not because of the dropback.
Anyway enough said about the dropbacks. The thing I wanted to point out here is that sometimes we find excuses not to do something out of fear. And if we don’t take the time to ask ourselves why we do not want to try, we will not know it’s because of past fears or past traumas that have nothing to do with the present moment.
This can be applied to a lot of situations I guess:
– When we’ve been cheated on once, it’s sometimes easier to mistrust everybody rather than giving somebody the chance to win our trust.
– When you’ve failed at an exam, you can think it’s the end of the world. You don’t want to give the exam another shot for fear of disappointing people and yourself.
– When you lost somebody you loved, it can be easier to refuse yourself from feeling anything, from giving your heart or your friendship.
But what if all these injuries and wounds were ways to learn how to go on being patient, to move on, to get stronger and… later on to do better?
We cannot change what happened in the past. We cannot change the fact that we felt pain. But, we can change the way we see these events. We can change the meaning we give to the injuries.
What if those pains were a means to empower ourselves and show us that we can recover. Rather than trying to avoid being hurt, let’s go outside and live! Pain teaches us that we have the strength within us to overcome a lot of things!
We fell? So what? Now we know how to be careful, how to fall without hurting us. We’ve been cheated on? Yep but now we may know whom to give our trust to, we know we have the power to walk away from the wrong person instead of clinging to this person. We are strong enough to claim our worth back.
We should strive to get passed these fears so that we do not hide ourselves behind our insecurities.